Honouring Your Brothers And Sisters

Honouring Your Brothers And Sisters

Families!

What a hot pot of love, excitement, personalities, joy, sorrow and support they can be.

Now there are SO many topics to discuss when it comes to families. I thought that with the approaching silly season, which usually means we spend extra time with our families and friends, that it would be a good time to talk about a related topic.

Today’s topic is Aunties and Uncles.

Now I know that no two families are the same. We are all raised in different environments with different values and different ways of learning to do things. I respect that. So when I was planning this post, I thought it would also be interesting to see other people’s points of view, so that I had something to compare my upbringing with.

So I gained the input of over 30 people. 🙂

Before I get into it I would just like to say thank you to all of you that assisted me with this and shared with me your point of view. 🙂

So as Lilli May is growing older and now has recognition of people and names and as we now have lots of friends with their own children this topic almost raised itself. What I wanted to know was what others feelings were on who their children called Aunty and/or Uncle.

Now the Merriam-Webster dictionary gives this definition of Aunt: the sister of your father or mother; the wife of your uncle.

This is how I was raised. That my Aunts and Uncles were brothers or sister (or married to them) of my parents. My sister and I called all my parents friends by their first names. With a few select older/senior friends of my parents that we called by Mrs SoandSO and/or Mr SoandSo.

When my sister (my only sibling) gave birth to her first baby…. a beautiful baby girl and named her Bianca…when I got to hold her for the very first time I was BEYOND proud! I was finally and Aunty!!!!! What an honour!!!

I know that when I returned the favour, and had a baby and my sister became an Aunty to my child she was over the moon with pride as well!! For me there was nothing else quite like holding my big sisters little baby and knowing that I was her Aunty Shell!

Now as time passes and more of our friends have children I have noticed a growing trend in people, now calling my husband and I, Aunty or Uncle when referring to us for their kids. Yet we are no relation.

So I asked the following questions:

Do you think it is ok for people with kids to refer to you and get their kids to refer to you as Aunty/Uncle if you are in no way related? Why/why not?
Or do you think that it should be an honour held for the true brothers/sisters (in-laws included) of the parents to be referred to in that way? Why/why not?

So some of the comments I got back when I was conducting this research were as follows:

  • My kids call a few of our friends Aunty and Uncle, their “real” Aunties and Uncles all live far away and they only see them once a year if they’re lucky so I think it’s a good thing.
  • Our kids call our closest friends Aunty and Uncle and I think it’s a lovely respect for those special friends.
  • Several friends kids call me Aunty and I think it’s nice 🙂:) it’s a respect thing and to show closeness also
  • I am known as Aunty to all my friends kids. Love it. I have no kids of my own. I became a proper Aunty 5 months ago. Nothing beats it but I love that my friends want their kids to think of me like family.
  • I grew up interstate from all of my blood Aunts and Uncles. But had quite a few of my parents friends that we called Aunties. And I still call them Aunty now.

And the other point of view

  • I don’t like being called Aunty by anyone but detest it from friend’s kids. Fortunately I only have one friend that makes her kids do it.
  • Hubby comes from a family that call pretty well all adult friends Aunt and Uncle. I find it cheapens the term.
  • My children don’t know some of their Aunty and Uncles due to a family rift so I feel uncomfortable with my children calling them Uncle and Auntie when they have nothing to do with them. I don’t call our close friends Aunty and Uncle for my kids though because they aren’t.
  • I think it should only be used for real Aunties and Uncles
  • I think it should be for true Aunts and Uncles. I don’t like when my niece calls her mums friends Aunty I don’t know why but it REALLY eerks me !!! I grew up only calling my true Aunts and Uncles this and friends of my parents were called mrs whoever and mr whoever.
  • The only time it may cause issues is if you don’t want to be called Aunty or Uncle and someone’s pushing it on you
  • I have friends that refer to me as Uncle/Aunt with their kids and I don’t like it… but they have never even asked me is it ok, they just do it.

So as I found out there are two clear points of view on this topic. 🙂 I guess we all need to follow what feels right for us and our individual families based on what we value and how we were raised.

So after much discussion with the Husbando, and after realising that we were raised on the opposite sides of this topic, we have made a decision for OUR little family.

We want to honour our brothers and sister (and their partners) and have Lilli May refer to only them as Uncle and Aunty. We feel that it is important for us and our little family to use the true meaning of the titles Uncle and Aunty and have this clear for Lilli May and not confuse her. If our friends wish to continue to refer to us as Uncle/Aunty for their children, they can, however we wont be doing the same in return. We understand that they may be doing it as a sign of respect to us and we appreciate that. Thank you we are honoured. We value our close friends and want Lilli May to love and respect them as we do, and we feel that she can do this without adding a title to their name. 🙂 Being good role models is what is important and having loving supportive friends is what matters.

I really enjoyed looking in to this topic and hearing the different points of view and reasons and I hope to look into other interesting family related topics in the future (if you have any suggestions please let me know). We need to respect each others preferences when it comes to family, no matter which side of the topic they sit on.

So, please give me your feedback. What are your preferences with regards to this Uncle/Aunty topic? And if you are having your children call your friends Aunty/Uncle, have you checked with them if it is ok? And why/why isn’t this important to you?

🙂

Keep smiling

Michka

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Comments

  1. i was following the discussions on this topic and also had my say but would like to add further,I am an extreemly proud Aunty of a miss 5 and a master 1(today is his birthday) I was the first one to be told my sis was expecting,I was at all the ultrasounds, was at the hospital when both were born and have spent many hours/days /weeks babysitting,loving and enjoying them both. so when my mother recently remaried and started refering to my adult step brothers and sisters as Aunty and Uncle such and such while speaking to the children i think I had every right to feel robbed! they are NOT Auntys and Uncles to my child or my Neice and Nephew yet my mother expects them to be refered to as that, but it doesnt go the other way, their children are not expected to refer to my sister or myself by Aunt nor would I want them to.. I am glad my child is old enough for this not to be a problem for her(she is 17 and has made the decition for herself) as for the argument over family friends being refered to as Aunt or Uncle, my parents friends had nick names such as mick becanme Mr.Micky still respectful but not formal or calling someone something they are not.. sorry for the rant just needed to put my thoughts on paper! Proud Aunty Debbie

    • Thanks so much! I totally agree with you and can understand where you are coming from. I appreciate you taking the time to share! Being an Aunty is wonderful isn’t it?! Mx

  2. I’m an only child and and only grandchild, my mother’s brother and his wife didn’t want to be called Aunt and Uncle. I don’t know my father’s family, so I grew up calling noone Auny and Uncle.
    My daughters have 1 aunt and her husband, so they are Aunty Shell and Uncle Judd who live interstate. My best friend is Aunt to my children and another close friend us uncle. Makes them feel more special to us and our daughters.

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