Facing My Fear

Facing My Fear

What a morning!! Back in August (oh my gawd I can’t believe it was THAT long ago) I met a lovely mum online via a local online mum’s group. She invited Lilli May and I to come to the Playgroup she attends in a suburb near us. I was so thankful and amazed at her kindness to extend such an invitation to me.

As we had moved here in May, and thus away from my original Mum’s Group, I knew it would be a great way to meet new people in the local area with kids (that weren’t already close friends). I KNEW IT! But this in no way helped me to get over my nerves and shyness and actually GO!

So there always seemed to be something ‘to do’ on a Tuesday morning from 9.30am which I talked myself into doing instead of facing my fear and taking Lilli May to the Playgroup. Finally, after yet another attempt by this amazingly friendly mum to get me to go, I agreed. It was going to be on the first Tuesday back for the Playgroup for the year so I felt a bit better and less like ‘a kid starting a new school mid-term where everyone already knew everyone’ and I would be like an ‘intruder’ on Big Brother… arriving late!

So with little sleep last night, and the alarm going off at 7.45am to wake me, I got out of bed and got ready for our FIRST DAY AT PLAYGROUP! Now I was tired as, as Lilli May normally sleeps until around 9am and I was awake until 2am last night – not sewing – but stressing about this! So being tired I thought, bingo perfect excuse not to go – but said NO you MUST go, do it for Lilli May! I thought about all the lovely comments and words of encouragement from the wonderful likers of my facebook page – and knew I had to give this a go!

I packed our little bag with some snacks and a drink, had three outfit changes – what do I wear as a first impression??!! Do I wear something I have made (like I normally would), do I make it smart casual or just casual, do I wear a skirt, jeans, trackies, etc etc. Another perfect excuse not to go – but NO, I must go and do it for Lilli May!

So with the outfits decided on – me in my usual clothes, in jeans, casual long-sleeved stretch tee and one of my LMD Nina Vests and Lilli May in a LMD Louise dress and leggings we were ready to go! A quick visit to the bathroom to be physically sick (yes, I am like that whenever I am really nervous), then we were out the door.

I looked up to the sky and see huge grey clouds! Yippee – another perfect excuse not to go…but NO you MUST go for Lilli May. Besides, I love walking in the rain!

Is it going to rain?

So in the pram we walked to the train station for a short wait till our train arrived.

Where's the train?

We arrive at our destination station – hop off the train and with an overwhelming feeling of nerves I stop off and grab a water and a coffee. My mouth was so dry from the nerves and my hands were shaking so I  figured if nothing else, I will have something to hold on to and look like I am ‘doing something’ if Lilli is just playing there and no one is talking to me.

Armed and ready!

We cross the road and I see a few kids playing behind the safety fence and some mums inside the door so I take a deep breath and push the pram through the gate (apparently I lose the ability to navigate my pram when nervous and nearly stacked it into the gate – embarrassment!!).

As soon as I walked through the door I was greeted by some VERY friendly mums as I mumbled who I was and our names and the name of the mum that had invited me (worrying that maybe I had the wrong group!) and guess what?!!

IT WAS FINE!!! Yes I felt sick and was nervous as hell and SO hoping my neck wasn’t going too red (as it does when I am nervous), but to see Lilli May instantly run off and play with some of the kids was PRICELESS! The mums there are all simply lovely. Some of the toys there were so awesome and Lilli May had fun with all of them!!

Be it putting the baby to bed

Bed time

Dress ups (go for the shoes – that’s my girl)

Shoes!

To playing with ‘boy’ work bench and tools

Tools!

To playing with the pretend kitchen/domestic goddess items etc.

Domestic Goddess Time

On this, I have taught Lilli May to go nowhere near my iron – HOT – and then when she saw the pretend one she was like “hot, very hot, don’t touch Lilli”. I wasn’t sure what to do. So we didn’t play with it. As I can’t teach her don’t touch one iron but not another – I guess this will be easier when she is older 🙂 Thoughts?

Cars!

There was indoor play and then outdoor play and she tried almost everything!

Ready Steady GO!

Before I knew it the two hours were up and I was SO happy with how the morning went. So we said our goodbyes and our see you next week’s,  and as I easily maneuvered the pram out through the gate I breathed a huge sigh. I was not only extremely happy that I had faced my fear and BEAT IT, I was overwhelmingly proud of Lilli May. She played so well with the other kids, lots of smiles, no tears and played fairly too.

With sips from my now cold UNTOUCHED coffee (just the way I like my hot drinks – cold – as I have mentioned here before 😉 ) we got the train back home and had a quick lunch and some milk and Lilli May fell asleep on the couch. It’s tiring having so much fun!

So to put it simply. I love Playgroup. I love this Playgroup. I look forward to getting to know these beautiful Mums (and dads and grandparents) and watching Lilli May grow her friendships with their gorgeous children.

So if you are sick with nerves and shy and too scared to go like I was, please please give it a go. Just once. Your child with thank you for it and I am sure you will get something out of it too!

Now I cant wait till next Tuesday at 9.30am!

Keep smiling!

Michka

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Comments

  1. I can so relate and come up with a million excuses to not do these things too.. You were just telling my story! I do it all.. trip, stumble, say stupid awkward things, feel like the biggest dufas in the world… So much safer to stay home in my comfort zone.. But I am moving to a new area in a couple of months and know nobody, perhaps I should keep your story in mind x

  2. Yes please do try and keep it in mind Renay. I am the BEST at talking myself out of trying new things or going out and mixing with people etc as I get so nervous and shy and it is just sooo much easier to stay at home. Every time that I do push myself (and it takes a very long time) but when I do it and am there then yes I do enjoy it and often think I wish I hadn’t left it so long in doing it. But this still does not seem to help me the next time I am faced with the ‘do I go or do I stay home’ dilemma…as 9 times out of 10 I will just stay at home. 🙂 LOL its hard but worth trying every now and again. Mx

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